Being a mummy is not learnt, although it does help to have a glowing point of reference! This one is for those mummy’s who are awesome mum’s nevertheless! Whether your mum was not there at all – or absent but present, this one’s for you.
Mistakes are normal and ultimately our aim is to create children who are whole – not broken.
I am not upset or angry, mum
I just feel it’s time you knew,
What effect your unconscious actions had
On a little girl without a clue.
Ever the optimist, eager and young,
I waited anxiously to see
If I’d ever truly be good enough
If you’d ever love me for me.
I used to watch you wow the crowds,
Giving strangers and your work their due,
And all I wanted honestly, mum
Was a little piece of you.
You say you’ve never had a mother either,
The pain’s evident in your eyes.
But you carried your pain into my life
And I’m not sure if you really realise.
I was 13 when you read my diary
And labelled me fast and loose,
You made a big deal and told dad as well
Between my truth and yours, you made him choose.
When I was 16 you stole more promises,
And aired them out to dry,
You sold each teenage wish I had
You watched silently while my self confidence died.
At 18 I left and to Uni I ran away
To start new and fresh
And still you didn’t believe I could
You often doubted my success.
I’ve tried in vain to win your love
To be your golden little girl,
The child I thought you wanted me to be
I tried to project to the world.
I stand before you now, mum,
After huge leaps in love and life.
A successful woman finally proud of herself
A doting mother and wife.
You’ll be proud to know I’ve broken the curse,
I hold my daughter close and tight.
I’ve never uttered an awful word
I’ll protect her all my life.
I make sure I tell her everyday
The words I longed to hear,
I tell her I’m her biggest fan
I’ll brush away her fear.
I’ll teach her to love her little brother
Who’s actually 26 weeks on his way,
Not to compete for our love or affection
Our devotion is here to stay.
I’ll teach them to honour relationships
To see good in strangers and in friends,
To not be angry and lash out at the world
When things come to an end.
I’ll admit I’m wrong when I am,
And never blame my kids for where I am in life
They will never be asked to explain or solve
My anger and my strife.
I’ll be their mum with all that I am
I’ll be their strength and their soft place to land,
And I will never make them feel
That I do not care or don’t need to understand.
I will never betray their trust
Or lay their secrets out to dry,
I’ll never prioritise their woes above mine
Or purposefully make them cry.
We’ll show them what a family is actually meant to be
We’ll create those family bonds and make them strong
We’ll make them care about how they feel, and not care about what strangers see.
The Silent treatment is a weapon mum,
Which I choose not to use or repeat.
Writing this was emotional mum, it was not an easy feat.
Take the words as they are meant to be
Not a weapon or meant to hurt,
But my way to heal those open wounds
And to tell you what I’ve learnt.
See, you really did teach me mum,
And now to share with you
Its not that tough to be a mum
It’s not in what you buy, it’s in what you do.
No learning needed, no tests to pass
No multiple choice to ace.
Just joyous smiles and sticky kisses
Motherhood’s a journey, not a race.