Why I think I broke my first born!

Dear Pup,
It took me a while to write this because I honestly couldn’t stand seeing it in black and white but it needs to be said. I hope that one day you will look back and say you handled things better than I did.

What a year 2016 was for you! Mummy changed into a bit of a mom-ster while Baby Bump was growing inside her and you, well you had to grow up pretty quick. Daddy’s hours mean that it’s usually just you, Baby Bump and I at home and that’s not always easy on you.

I look at you now and struggle to believe that you have grown so much. You are taller, leaner and not sure why but you seem honestly a bit subdued too. Your joy seems more restrained now as you quietly go about your business making sure not to wake baby or hesitate before you talk to me when you notice I’m nursing him.

You are strong willed and it shows now more than before. Sometimes I can’t deal with the smart comments, slamming doors and stomping feet. I expected that at 16, I guess, not 5 and so forgive me for being completely unprepared. I watch you as you chat to people when we visit or they visit and how you bask in their attention, and I suddenly realise what it must feel like to not be in the limelight on your own anymore. I suddenly feel how confusing it must be for you to go from yes all the time to sudden “in just a moment” and “I’ll do it just now”.  I suddenly see how it must be to be the other child and not the only child.

As I sit here in tears all I can think of saying is “I’m sorry”. Not for having your little brother or for being pregnant but I’m sorry that I could not have been more of a mummy to you in my time of need. I feel like I broke you a little – or maybe alot, I’m not too sure. 

I tell you I love you and tuck you in at night but I notice your lingering look as Daddy Dearest plops you into the shower when I’m busy feeding baby and I know you’re thinking that I used to share that time with you. I notice how you don’t run to me with open arms like you used to and you don’t laugh that big laugh you used to either, almost asking for attention instead of vivaciously taking it like you used to. I ask you if you’re ok and you turned to me with those big eyes and said, “I’m ok mummy, don’t worry about me”. For some reason that broke my heart. I never want you to feel that I shouldn’t worry about you. You’ll always be my baby.

You were the centre of my world for 5 whole years, you were the only one. You held all our attention and were the only one we focused all our love on. Now, well now,  we try this balancing game that I think we’re failing at. 

So, I’m going to fix it. I’m going to try harder to do better and be the “old mummy”. I’m going to hold you more, lie with you at bedtime for those stolen squeezes and maybe, just maybe we’ll get back the “us” time as the days roll by. I’m going to stop calling you a “big girl” and understand that you are still only 5 and can’t possibly know what I expect you to know. I’m going to stop treating you like an older child just because there is someone younger. 

You are my first born, and all my firsts as a mummy live with you. You made me a mummy. You said mum mum first, and all those memories I cherish, my baby. I am grateful and thankful to you for those privileges . I watch as Bump and you create firsts of your own, how you play gently with him, how you race to him when you get home and how he searches the room for you when you leave. Despite the changes, you have never blame him – your soul is wise and your love is pure. You are, as Daddy Dearest says, our Pure Joy.

At 3 months Baby Bump has already fallen in love with you as I did before you were even born.I look forward to you two building on this foundation for years to come.

So, my Pup, whether it’s you growing up or me breaking what was – I hope it all gets better as we learn how to deal with 3 becoming 4.

Love you my sunshine,

Manic mummy


The day I was “schooled” at my daughter’s school

The 2nd ever Grade R parents evening started like the first one had. Nervous glances around as parents sized each other up and polite “Hellos” and shy glances at the Grade R teachers as we were ushered in after signing a register. 

In front of us stood the 3 Grade R teachers and our instructors for the evening.  On the agenda was how phonetics were being taught as well as how the news would be done by each child. I was quietly confident, smug even. At the age of 5 (newly 5), Rach was a pro at her ABCs. Thanks to the doctor himself (Dr Seuss, of course), she is rhyming like a rapper and when it comes to speaking in public,  you can’t really stop her once she starts. She is reading, yep, reading and I pride myself in developing her in fun and innovative ways – I had this!

I smiled at the teachers. They smiled back. Lets focus on the teachers for a moment, shall we? Now, have you noticed how Grade R teachers are almost mythical? They are a quarter human, half fairy godmother with a hint of unicorn. How else can they handle a class full of 5 years olds and and still have all their hair? They don’t walk, they still seem to glide and they don’t talk – they hypnotise with their melodic voices and awesomely calming facial expressions. As I pondered this, the meeting began.

By the 2nd sentence I was already ready to run for the hills! Casey the Caterpillar  (yep my Aussie friends, we have YOUR Casey) had me feeling like I should never have introduced the capital letters to Rach at all! Of course it makes sense – the foundation to any language are the sounds….and the way we say B (bee) is not the same as establishing the sound of the letter b  (bur). We don’t say Bee-read, we say bur-read.

So here’s some tips:

Do focus on the sounds, not capital letters (they should not be writing capitals at all or spelling with them) – we spell with the ABCs

Do play games like “I spy” to encourage and emphasise sounds – we’re pros at this

Do teach your child how to write their name (mirror writing is ok at the start) – yep!

Do teach them to write from left to write or from a margin – work in major progress

Do read to them, but do not force them to read or repeat after you at the moment – oops,  she’s reading

Do encourage keeping their pencils  (yes, triangular pencils only) on the paper at all times when writing letters and have them start and end the letter properly – getting there

Sigh! So, maybe I ran a bit before we crawled….but what’s important is that we can always re-inforce the new habits now. 

Another tip: practice cutting on a straight line! We always cut paper into random shapes but never really focused on straight line cutting enough.I left that entirely  to her nursery school and didn’t really re-inforce (oops!). So she can create magical drawings but struggles to cut on the straight line (epic parent fail!).

All in all Rachel is in great, magical hands. I look forward to learning right along with her. She’s my bright shining star and we’re about to start another journey that starts with a tree that has a branch where a butterfly laid an egg….Google it – Casey the Caterpillar!


Manic mummy


Manic Mummy: Fixing a flip flop with the help of a loaf of bread

Dear Pup,

It came on suddenly. Baby Tiger was in his pram stirring and I looked away from you for a moment. Just enough time for you to trip over your new flip flops (how do you manage to trip over your  own feet?). I could see your newly turned 5 year old logic settling in. You are a big girl now and big girls don’t cry – you must have been thinking. But then logic was thrown out the window and you launched yourself dramatically me (and Tigers pram) in tears.

I could feel your pain when you handed me your “broken” flip flop. Your perfect toes wiggled in the most adorable way as you seriously explained why another pair would not do and going barefoot was a no no. In desperation, and not wanting to push a pram and a trolley, I looked around. And there it was! The loaf of bread.

Instinct kicked in and I removed the clip that keep the bread closed, turned the flip flop around and voila! Flip flop fixed!!!

Surprisingly you don’t have to use a bread clip, anything with a larger circumference than the hole in the flip flop works!

Sigh, onwards and forwards – another mummy hack and who needs fresh bread anyways!

Love you baby! Anything to see that smile!



Must have Curling Mascara – Smudge Proof

Dear Pup,

You have gorgeous brown eyes and amazingly long eye lashes. Mummy needs a little help in the lash department so imagine my surprise when a friend introduced me to this one!

It has NO FIBRES and NO MINERAL OIL – so great for using on eyelash extensions too, if anyone has those on. The best part? NO CLUMPING 

What I love: This mascara offers:

• A curved wand that expertly combs and coats every individual lash for weightless coverage, giving bigger brighter eyes

• A long wearing formula that together with the wand helps prevent clumping and stays on all day without smudging 


If anyone out there in blog land wants more information, click here!

Can’t wait to try out more of these amazing products!!



Best plumping lip gloss in the world – the day mummy found “the one”

Dear Pup,
Mummy loves lip gloss, and shoes and dresses and coffee, but mostly lipgloss. I have been looking for a plumping lipgloss that works for years. It’s frustrating when you spend loads of dollars (and now rands) on products that don’t work.

Daddy dearest often jokes about my ongoing quest for the ideal contouring plumping lipgloss that actually works. The quest has ended!

I’m loving this plumping lipgloss and it’s awesome shaded. It works because it stimulates the collagen production to naturally enhance the Cupid’s bow. Results prove that if you use it twice a day for 28 days you could have naturally more luscious lips💋💋. And the best part, no animal testing! 

So for more information, visit the Manic Mummy group on Facebook and send me a message. I will send you more information! Click here now!

Sssshhh….it’s our little secret!




Proudly a Bennetts baby – Awesome range for every need

Dear Pup, 

Part of mummy hood is deciding what baby products to use. For you it was a little easier as mummy pretty much did what granny wanted (hee hee) but this time around with Baby Bump (and granny far away) mummy decided to research.

I start where I always do….the Bum Cream. …probably the most important cream ever for a baby or child in diapers. No one can really compete with Bennetts so I decided to look into their product range. 

All I can say is wow! Bennetts has an amazing range: from their the Bath drops and massage oil to their Aqueous Cream and even their saline drops (love the nasal aspirator it comes with), Bennetts offers head to toe care for baby. You and I tried them out before Baby Bump was born and with your stamp of approval we decided to go full steam ahead with their range.

I cannot say enough about the quality and quantity. Their creams are super creamy and a little goes a long way. I especially love their Bum Cream that now comes in a convenient tube so that its now a lighter component to the already bulging diaper bag.

Love love love!!!




Letter to my Daddy on the morning of my birth – Love Your Son

Dear Baby Bump,

This is the letter Daddy Dearest got on the morning of November 28th as we waited for you to be born. We were so excited to meet you and you have far exceeded our expectations with the amazing light and experiences you have already brought to all our lives.

You arrived at 9:17am, 3.75kgs and 53cms.  Our hearts skipped a beat and continue to do so every time we look at you. 

” 28 November 2016

Dear Daddy
I cannot wait to meet you daddy
And have you guide me on
I heard your voice around me
Everyday before I was born. 
My feet are very little now
And I cannot run its true
But I look forward to walking along
This journey called life with you.
Mummy told me stories of how she met you 
And how she loves you more every day
And Rachy said that you’re the bestest daddy
That ever came her way.
I’m excited to say I’m almost there
I’m imagining you in my mind
I already love you daddy
God said you were mine to find.
I hope one day I am just like you
In every single way
And I hope we have tons of magical memories
Starting when I meet you today!”


Mummy and Daddy