10

Why I need more “mummy” friends!

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Maybe I’m going through a mid motherhood crisis or something, I’m not really sure, because lately all I have been craving is the company of other mothers with kids the same as age as mine. Now this revelation comes as a shock since I have always been very open minded about friends. I have young friends, older friends, friends with kids, friends without kids and even friends who never want to have kids – ever.

I know for a fact that this mindset change happend gradually enough. I first noticed it when I started maintaining longer eye contact with that mum pushing her 3 year old in a trolley while shopping, when I had the urge to initiate small chat with another mum at the kids water bottle isle at the local store and when I smiled a bit too enthusiastically to the mum who gave me a knowing smile when my 3 year old went into tantrum mode when she bit her own finger.

Another clue was the change in my preferred conversation topics. I went went from our role in world peace (ok, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic) and the role of the woman in corporate (this one is true), to tips on handling tantrums, easy baker-baker day recipes, and exciting lunchbox ideas for a 3 year old. I used to spent sleepness nights thinking about my pending management presentation, now I spend sleepness nights thinking about which primary school and high school we should choose and what 4th birthday theme would she not hold against me when she’s 16!

I feel silly really, and a bit more than a tad embarrassed! What possesses a fully grown, usually very secure, 33 year old woman to wake up one day and and basically decide to walk around with a desperate look that translates into a  sign over my head louding announcing “Mummy friends wanted”?

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Once I accepted that something was indeed amiss, I did what I normally do – I analysed!

My findings? I crave the company of women who understand that I have not really slept in 3 years, who identify with the challenges of a 3 year old who suddenly rebels against sleep times and patterns and who sympathise with the morning struggle of getting a princess to brush her teeth. I want the comfort of not having to ask “are we allowed to bring the kids” when my daughter is clearly a part of what makes me the strong woman I am. I love listening to other mum’s going on the same journey as me because it makes me feel normal, makes me feel like I am not alone and it gives me strength to continue to believe that my imprint on Rach is a positive one.

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So, my sudden craving really just stems from the basic need to belong to a group that is walking the same path. That made me smile a little. We’re clearly never too old to need others.

So, if you see a mum smiling at you as you shop, smile back. Make conversation with that mum pushing her little girl on the swing at the park or sitting on her phone at Spur while her little one plays up a storm. Perhaps she just needs some mummy support too!!

It might even be me!

K

9

Why I fired my daughter’s godmother

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She was a friend, seemingly nice and always loving towards Rach. I liked her, I was desperate for friendship in the realm of new mommy lonliness and she was really amazing to chat to.  We grew close and after a few months of day to day friendship, I asked her to be Rachy’s godmother.

Before anyone throws tantrums my way, try to understand that I already know what you are thinking. Yes, I do know the definition of a godmother, yes, I did think it through, no, I did not do the right thing.

So, eventually the social butterfly I once called me friend was annoyed that I could not go out with her, picking Rach up when I had to meet unrealistic deadlines from my new job became a burden and her true colours showed.

She was young, selfish, gossipy – not at all the type of person I should have let near Rachy. She would never hurt Rach, that I know, but she was also never destined to be a permanent fixture in our lives.

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What hurt most was that she used picking up Rach as a weapon to infer that I had used her. Now, if she was a mom she would understand a few things. She would understand that I would never want anyone else picking up my child from daycare, she would realise that I cried everytime I had to work slave labour hours at work, that I wished I could have a moment to paint my toes or have a glass of wine but would never ever choose that over drooly kisses and chubby hands. She would have known that I needed just a genuine, caring heart to be my friend, that when I complained of being tired I was just that TIRED…not annoyed or irritated…just tired.

I heard her web of lies through people who cared enough to tell me but by then I realised my mistake. Rach was robbed the opportunity to have someone love her. Former friend had not walked away from me, she had walked away from the purest little soul she had encountered.

So, when she attempted to reconcile a while later I rejected the idea. I fired her from our lives. I would not make the same mistake again. She would not be allowed to try to taint the reputation of a child again with the title of burden.

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So, I learnt a valuable lesson, one I will probably always feel guilty about. But I guess its part of mommyhood – we go through the lessons that we hope they will never have to go through!

Sigh!

Rant over (this happened 2 years ago so this was well overdue and yes, I feel much better now!)

K

5

Upcycling to keep a princess busy: Making a Bird Feeder from a plastic bottle

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Happy New Year!

Summer is a time for outdoor fun and Rachy’s favourite activities always incorporate bird watching. Thankfully she’s finally reached the age where she no longer terrorises them by stalking and then shrieking in their direction, but she is always looking for ways to draw them nearer! So was born the idea of a bird feeder. Now, making Santa look good was expensive enough, so spending money on this was out of the question. Then I saw the water bottle:

What you will need:

Any plastic bottle (water, soda, etc)
Scissors
Paint
Black marker
Tape
And string (preferably not wool)

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Areas to be developed:
Hand-eye coordination
Colour knowledge
Following sequence of instructions

Process:

Cut the bottle making sure that the top half fits over the bottle half. Just cut out the middle section

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Cut a hole through both parts large enough for a bird to pop his head into. You are creating the door

This is where the kid fun really begins!!!Paint paint paint. Rachy had great fun mixing and dotting and streaking. I loved watching her tongue stick out as she sat in deep concentration! Allow to dry. This took about 20min with the current heat.

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Taste the sunflower seeds (ok, so we just love sunflower seeds) and fill into open “door” for birdies snacks!

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Daddy Dearest created a loop with the string, and we placed this under the lid and screwed on.

Hang up on something high (we used Rachy’s swing) and pose!!!

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Now begins the wait! I am trying to convince her that hiding right behind the feeder will not fool the birds at all!!

A great little activity and a cute addition to the garden!!

Hope you and the kids enjoy!!!

K