Maybe I’m going through a mid motherhood crisis or something, I’m not really sure, because lately all I have been craving is the company of other mothers with kids the same as age as mine. Now this revelation comes as a shock since I have always been very open minded about friends. I have young friends, older friends, friends with kids, friends without kids and even friends who never want to have kids – ever.
I know for a fact that this mindset change happend gradually enough. I first noticed it when I started maintaining longer eye contact with that mum pushing her 3 year old in a trolley while shopping, when I had the urge to initiate small chat with another mum at the kids water bottle isle at the local store and when I smiled a bit too enthusiastically to the mum who gave me a knowing smile when my 3 year old went into tantrum mode when she bit her own finger.
Another clue was the change in my preferred conversation topics. I went went from our role in world peace (ok, so maybe I’m being a little dramatic) and the role of the woman in corporate (this one is true), to tips on handling tantrums, easy baker-baker day recipes, and exciting lunchbox ideas for a 3 year old. I used to spent sleepness nights thinking about my pending management presentation, now I spend sleepness nights thinking about which primary school and high school we should choose and what 4th birthday theme would she not hold against me when she’s 16!
I feel silly really, and a bit more than a tad embarrassed! What possesses a fully grown, usually very secure, 33 year old woman to wake up one day and and basically decide to walk around with a desperate look that translates into a sign over my head louding announcing “Mummy friends wanted”?
Once I accepted that something was indeed amiss, I did what I normally do – I analysed!
My findings? I crave the company of women who understand that I have not really slept in 3 years, who identify with the challenges of a 3 year old who suddenly rebels against sleep times and patterns and who sympathise with the morning struggle of getting a princess to brush her teeth. I want the comfort of not having to ask “are we allowed to bring the kids” when my daughter is clearly a part of what makes me the strong woman I am. I love listening to other mum’s going on the same journey as me because it makes me feel normal, makes me feel like I am not alone and it gives me strength to continue to believe that my imprint on Rach is a positive one.
So, my sudden craving really just stems from the basic need to belong to a group that is walking the same path. That made me smile a little. We’re clearly never too old to need others.
So, if you see a mum smiling at you as you shop, smile back. Make conversation with that mum pushing her little girl on the swing at the park or sitting on her phone at Spur while her little one plays up a storm. Perhaps she just needs some mummy support too!!
It might even be me!